The Tragic Story Behind Your ‘Pumpkin Spice’ Latte Revealed

It’s too late for these poor pumpkins, but with your help others could be saved. Join the #DrinkAnythingButPumpkinSpice movement today.

Starbucks Commandeers Seattle Domestic Water Supply

Seattle’s third mayor this week is nowhere to be found.  Starbucks chairman, Howard Schultz, was overheard saying that, “If Seattle goes another week without a ‘real’ mayor, we’ll have Puget Sound totally converted to Pumpkin Spice and the salmon will just have to suck it up and deal…”

**FakeNewsAlert**

FakeNews CNN Reports “Four Types of Stocks”

FakeNews NYTimes – ‘All The News Fit To Wear’

Deconstructing a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte

**FakeNews Alert?  The inclusion of the ‘ground up kitten marrow’ ingredient is questionable

Maxine Waters Face-prints Sheets

The New York Times reports, “Maxine Waters’ Image Found On ‘Shroud’ at Motel 6.”  Or maybe, not so much.  It was actually sheets that the image was found on, and, upon further inspection, it appears that Ms. Waters’ excessive makeup simply ‘silk-screened’ itself onto the sheet after an overnight of face sleeping.  Experts say that proper personal hygiene could help prevent such transfers in the future.

**FakeNewsAlert**

h/t-Diogenes’ Middle Finger

Okie Earthquake Detection Kit

With earthquakes at historic levels, the State of Oklahoma wants you to know when the next “Big One” happens.  You can pick up your free “Earthquake Detection Device” at any State or Local government office.  Some assembly will be required.

**FakeNewsYouCouldFallForBecauseOfYourPreconceivedElitistOpinionOfOklahomans

Apple Announces iPhone X Accessories

Not only will your iPhone X turn your face into a ‘poop emoji’, which is Apple’s way of telling you that you paid way, way too much for that phone, but you can also take care of all of your kitchen tasks with this new accessory.

**FakeNews Alert