A Snowflake’s Gotta Do What Snowflakes Do

It snowed last night…

8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 – A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 – So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 – My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 – The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:22 – The transgender man, woman…person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 – The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 – I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 – The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up.
8:40 – The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 – The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 – The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 – The TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.
9:00 – I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 – I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 – Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
By Noon it had all melted.
Moral:
There is no moral to this story. It is exactly what we have become….. all caused by Snowflakes.

**Found here.

Party Like It’s 1999

Say 2 Thousand Twenty Twenty – Party Over. It’s Out Of Time

I was dreaming when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray
When I woke up this morning, got up this morning was judgement day
Sky was all purple there was people running everywhere
Try to run from my destruction, you know I didn’t even care
Say, say 2 thousand twenty twenty party over it’s out of time
So tonight I’m gonna party like its 1999

I was dreaming when I wrote this, so sue me if I go too fast
Well life is just a party and partys aren’t meant to last
Worries all around us, my mind says prepare to bite
So if I’m gonna die gonna listen to my body tonight
Yeah
They say 2 thousand twenty twenty party over it’s out of time
So tonight I’m gonna party like its 1999

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