Daily Darwin – Light My Fire

Darwin says that you just can’t make this crap up!  This is one thief that cooked his own goose, err, genome.

The FresnoBee reports, “Suspected burglar stuck in Huron home’s chimney dies after residents light fire.”

A man who apparently got stuck in the chimney of a Huron home during a Darwin_Santa_Oopsey_Daisybotched burglary attempt died Saturday after the homeowners lit a fire in the fireplace, the Fresno County Sheriff’s Office said.Lt. Brandon Pursell said deputies received a 911 call to the 16000 block of West Gale Avenue just before 3 p.m. After lighting a fire, the male homeowner heard screaming coming from somewhere inside the house. When the resident realized a person was in the chimney, he extinguished the fire.

Darwin also notes that this smoked dude’s balls and brain in all probability can’t be distinguished from your average chimps pieces and parts.

Deputies and firefighters had to smash the chimney to get the man out. He was

Darwin_Chimp_Brain_Vs_Testicle
Which hand has the intelligence?

pronounced dead at the scene. The Fresno County coroner will perform an autopsy to confirm a cause of death. The man’s identity is being withheld pending notification of his family.

Investigators believe he had attempted to break into the home sometime during the evening hours of Nov. 27. He had remained in the chimney all day.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Grumpy cat offers his observation, too.

Grumpy_Cat_Santa_Stuck_Start_Fire

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Daily Darwin – Collecting Nuts

Darwin reminds us that all of God’s creatures have their place. The golfer’s job is to pee in the rough. The squirrels job is to collect nuts. You make the genome connection.

Squirrel_Attack_Exposed_Nuts

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

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UFO Deposits Gardner – Well Salted

In the Washington Post, “Man, 29, arrested after he is found naked and screaming in flower bed in Crystal City“.

A 29-year-old man who was using bath salts was arrested and charged after he was found naked and screaming over the weekend in a flower bed in Crystal Illegal_Immigrant_Come_By_Flying_SaucerCity, police said.

The incident began shortly after midnight Sunday near the intersection of Crystal Drive and 18th Street South when police received a call.

When they arrived, they found a man — later identified as Hector Anaya Segura of Mexico — standing in a flower bed, waving his arms in the air and “screaming incoherently,” according to Dustin Sternbeck, a spokesman with the Arlington County police department.

Segura’s clothes were scattered in the roadway.

Hector obviously arrived in the US by flying saucer, giving new meaning to illegal alien.

Police said a naked Segura then ran to a police cruiser and began slamming his hands on the hood.

A police officer used a Taser on him, causing him to fall down. Sternbeck said Segura did not comply with officers’ commands and tried to stand up. A Taser was again used on him before officers handcuffed him.

Segura was taken to an area hospital, police said. A field test kit turned positive for use of drugs, and police said they found an e-cigarette on Segura which they believe he was using to smoke bath salts.

Segura was charged with disorderly conduct and possession of bath salts. He told authorities he was attending a meeting in the area — the 2015 International Drug Policy Reform Conference.

Well that sounds believable enough. But no reason not to put his butt back on the flying saucer to return from whence he came.

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