Babylon Bee

The Babylon Bee ‘Stings’ CNN+

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The Babylon Bee Stands In Solidarity With Its Fellow Cancelled Satire Site CNN+

Babylon Bee–After investing hundreds of millions of dollars CNN finally unveiled its new satire site CNN+. Unfortunately, only 3 weeks later CNN+ has been canceled—prematurely ending what was certain to be one of the funniest sites ever made. This sort of cancel culture censorship has been targeting comedians for too long, and it must stop.

This is why The Babylon Bee has decided to formally take a stand beside our fellow satire site, CNN+. We too know exactly what it feels like to be suddenly canceled for the simple crime of bringing laughter to the world. When we heard CNN+ wasn’t being canceled for another sex scandal we were shocked, but once we heard that comedy was blatantly being censored again we were outraged.

Today’s Democrats Are So West Side Story

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The Let-Teenagers-Knife-Fight Caucus

Click for Babylon Bee –“Playskool Releases ‘My First Knife Fight’ Playset”

National Review–As HotAir’s Allahpundit quips, “When lefties said we should defund the police and not sweat the social consequences, they weren’t messing around.”
There are really two layers of arguments here.

One is that cops should somehow treat teenage knife fights as they would harmless roughhousing and simply ignore it. The other idea is that the officer should have figured out a way to resolve the situation without doing any harm — this even though video suggests a girl was seconds (or less) away from being stabbed. Why not shoot the leg? Or shoot the knife out of her hand?

People evidently believe this is like the movies. That somehow a cop is like Clint Eastwood’s Man with No Name in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, shooting a rope from hundreds of yards away to free Tuco from being hanged. In reality, this is not a sniper carefully getting in position to shoot a target. We’re talking about shooting a small, erratically moving target in real time. It is completely unrealistic to expect, no matter how well-trained a cop is.

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Santa’s Server Hacked…??!! SJW Elves Suspected

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138,000 Kids Suddenly Added To Santa’s Nice List In Middle Of Night

The Babylon Bee–NORTH POLE—Santa Claus’s nice list is said to be run on trustworthy software, safe and secure on an unhackable server under his workshop.

But some are questioning the legitimacy of the nice list after the tally suddenly spiked in the middle of the night, adding over 138,000 kids to the good side of the list.

After sorting kids according to their niceness or naughtiness for hours, Santa had abruptly stopped counting and gone to bed, saying he was tired and taking a break for the night, even though he is magical and does not need to sleep.

**Found at The Babylon Bee so even if one adds the /sarc ‘n/snark tag you can bet the article will get fact checked by the Mainstream Media.

Just Like Any Other Addict, Joe Biden Has Found A Way To Get His Fix

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Biden Cuts Hole In Mask So He Can Still Sniff People’s Hair

Babylon Bee—Joe Biden has committed to wearing a mask in public to be a good example and to prevent the spread of COVID-19. Aides were disappointed and a little frightened, however, when Biden immediately cut a large hole in the middle of the mask so he could continue to invade people’s personal space and sniff their hair, necks, and faces.

Staffers usually don’t let Biden play with sharp objects, but he managed to find some safety scissors stashed behind the Metamucil in his campaign bus. Using the purple plastic scissors, he cut a large hole and then fitted the mask to his face, confident that he was protecting himself and others from the virus.

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