Chiraq – October Surprise

Good Morning, Chiraq!!!  From CBS2, “Chicago Soars Past 600 Homicides After Bloody October“.

With 78 homicides, October was the second deadliest month of 2016, and Chicago surpassed 600 homicides for the first time in more than a decade.

chiraq_oct2016_shooting_trend_hjThe last time Chicago had at least 600 homicides in a single year was 2003.

Homicides and non-fatal shootings have skyrocketed in 2016, with 605 homicides and more than 3,600 shooting victims through the end of October.

In October, there were 78 homicides and 427 shooting victims. Only August had more homicides, when 90 people were slain in Chicago. It was the bloodiest month in the city in 20 years.

 

Final October TotalsYear to Date
Shot & Killed: 73Shot & Killed: 585
Shot & Wounded: 348Shot & Wounded: 3117
Total Shot: 421Total Shot: 3702
Total Homicides: 79Total Homicides: 654

**Hey Jackass – Illustrating Chicago Values

Chiraq – ChiPhone

Apple is still working to perfect production techniques for their new ChiPhone. Their usual 6 day Chiraq_ChiPhoneInventory Turnover ratio has been slowed considerably by an uptick in Workers Compensation issues occurring with the Product Development Team.  Consequently, Team Leaders are considering a temporary halt in Field Testing.

A senior member of the Team was heard to say that it’s “imperative to bring the Project back into the lab to further refine testing protocols because the mayhem factor is still not under control.”

Here’s a summary of their analysis provided by HeyJackass.com.

Chiraq – Murdered the First Quarter

From the ChicagoTribune, “Chicago off to deadliest start in nearly two decades“.

As the first quarter of 2016 nears an end, violence in Chicago has reached levels unseen in years, putting the city on course to top 500 homicides for only the second time since 2008.

Guns_Chiraq

As of 6 a.m. Wednesday, homicides totaled 135, a 71 percent jump over the 79 killings in the same year-earlier period, official Police Department statistics show. That represented the worst first quarter of a year since 136 homicides in 1999, according to the data.

Shootings have jumped by comparable numbers as well. As of Wednesday, at Chiraq_Homicide_Mugleast 727 people had been shot in Chicago so far this year, a 73 percent rise from 422 a year earlier, according to a Tribune analysis of department data.

Worse yet, that jump follows two consecutive years in which shootings rose by double digits, the analysis found. Homicides also rose by about 12.5 percent last year over 2014.

Chiraq – Bullet Cams

From the Onion, “Chicago Police Department To Monitor All Interactions With Public Using New Bullet Cams“.

CHICAGO—In response to calls for increased transparency and accountability, the Chicago Police Department announced Friday that it will begin monitoring Guns_Chiraqall interactions with the public by using new bullet cams. “To ensure that all contact between law enforcement officers and residents is properly documented, five megapixel, high-definition cameras will be affixed to our standard-grade 9mm Luger caliber ammunition,” said Chicago Police Department Interim Superintendent John Escalante, adding that the bullet cams will capture the majority of public interactions and store them in a database.

Onion_Bullet_Cam_Chiraq

Low Hanging Fruit

Obama has been firing blanks in an attempt to solve the nation’s supposed gun violence problem.  After spending all of this time, energy, political capital, and “tears”, the only answer he found was taking everyone’s right to own a firearm away. You might say that his solution has been like “looking for love in all the wrong liberal places”.

The statistically logical solution has been staring him in the face–right from his own home town, Chicago.  Only 2 simple steps are required to eliminate over 96 per cent of all Chicago firearm homicides:

  • Ban all Blacks from having firearms (an 80.2o% solution) and
  • Ban all Hispanics from having firearms (the remaining 16.10% of the low hanging fruit).

He could be a real “Liberal ” hero by following that simple approach.  The rest of the population if left alone will figure out a solution to the remaining 3.70% without infringing on anyone’s Second Amendment rights.

Chicago’s 2015 Gun Violence Summary from “Hey Jackass!! ”

HeyJackass_Homicides_By_Race_2015

Hey. Don’t blame me for suggesting something as equally ridiculous as what Obama did. My solution, however, would work better than his and that’s a 96 per cent certainty.