Grumpy Cat To Expose Hillary Clinton

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!! Hold the presses!!!

Grumpy Cat, the grouchy-faced furball that launched a thousand memes, is dead.

“Grumpy Cat, arguably the internet’s most popular cat and one of its first viral memes, has died aged 7.”

The furry sensation’s family announced her death on Twitter on Friday.

Some internet Clinton Conspiracy Theorists are pointing out that the average lifespan of a kitty is twice what Grumpy’s was. Shades of Vince Foster and Seth Rich.

MOFA – “Make Orwell Fiction Again”

The current conspiracy theory overheard on overnight talk radio, perhaps on Coast to Coast AM, or possibly, Midnight in the Desert, is that George Orwell was a time traveler from the future, who was stranded here, and then wrote 1984 as a desperate attempt to save us from our selves and consequently save his ‘future’ self from having to make this trip in the first place and, thus, getting marooned here in this seedy version of “tempus contemporary” .  Complicated?  Maybe.  But there are no paradoxes on overnight talk radio.