Daily Darwin – Advice to Coffee Drinkers

Darwin’s not sure whether this advice is for ‘coffee drinkers’ or for ‘ski jumpers’.  He thinks it probably cuts the old genome both ways.  Darwin recommends that one’s genomes will be most happy if one has his morning coffee prior to ski jumping.  This finishing the morning coffee, though, still has him perplexed.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Little Princesses Shouldn’t Play With Fire

Darwin hypothesizes that the eyelash genome was not made to mingle with fire of any sort.  The proof of his hypothesis follows.  Enjoy.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

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Daily Darwin – Whose Genome Gets Gored?

Darwin states that he paraphrased the old adage a bit.  “It depends upon whose ox gets gored” gets this substitution , “At a rodeo, it depends upon the row in which you sit as to whether your genome gets gored.”  So whose genome gets gored?  Why the dufus in the first row, of course.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

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Daily Darwin – Alien Mowing Man

Darwin is amazed that the adventure just keeps getting better and better for the “Tornado Mowing Man“.  His pair of ‘genomenus hugeness’ has now taken on the Martian Invaders in a “War of the Worlds” style beat down….err, mow down.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

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Daily Darwin – Tornado Mowing Man

Darwin states that this pair of genomes is destined for the record book of ‘genomenus hugeness’.

In honor of this Daily Darwin Recipient, Darwin, his ownself, has launched a new category of craziness, the “What?  Me Worry?  Survival Award”.

From the Times Colonist, “Man who mowed lawn with tornado behind him says he ‘was keeping an eye on it’“.

Cecilia Wessels snapped the picture of her husband, Theunis, on Friday evening as the twister passed near their home in Three Hills. She said cutting the grass was on her husband’s to-do list, and as he started the task, she went for a nap.

Wessels said she was woken by her nine-year-old daughter who was upset that there was something like a tornado in the sky, but her father wouldn’t come inside. Theunis Wessels said the tornado was actually much further away than it appears in the photo, and that it was moving away from them.

There have been no reports of injuries from the tornado, although some other photos show downed trees and a barn with its roof ripped off.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

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Daily Darwin – Kim Jung-un Inspired Fireworks Remix

Darwin notes that any fireworks labeled “Made in North Korea” should be handled with extreme caution in order to protect one’s genomes from the inevitable ‘Kim Jong-un Effect’.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

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Daily Darwin – On Their Way to the Testicle Festival

Darwin hilariously reports that this tasty morsel (or genome) from 9News Colorado about a  “CO man accused of removing a transgender woman’s testicles” says it all.  As a matter of fact, Darwin thinks it might be way too much information.

Police say a man faces felony assault charges after he used an Army surgical kit to remove the testicles of a transgender woman.

Records say during that interview, Pennington told investigators he agreed to perform the medical procedure at the victim’s apartment in Denver.

Eeewww!!

Detectives say the surgical kit contained a scalpel, lidocaine, medical dressings, and other medical equipment.

Records state Pennington “used the scalpel and surgically disconnected and removed the victim’s 2 testicles and then sutured the opening back up.”  The victim’s wife was with her during what was described…as a 90-minute-long procedure.

Because “the testicles could not be re-attached due to time delay of a procedure to 911 call” we arrive at the second part of the story. The couple headed off to Montana’s Famous “Testicle Festival”.  Even though the Festival turned out not to be BYO testicles, there were still many festivities to enjoy.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

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