Daily Darwin – Key Cleaner Award

Darwin chortles about the most recent April Fools prank going around.  He surmises that the unwitting fools got quite a shock to the old genomes when they inserted their keys into the ‘key cleaning machine’.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – My Flaming Ding-A-Ling

Darwin gleefully notes that this fine specimen appears to be exhibiting a major case of “Genome Impairment due to a Flaming and Exploding Ding-A-Ling” thingy. Darwin further states, that if left untreated, all that will be left of said genomes will be burnt out husks. You can watch the flambe act while enjoying Chuck Berry expounding on the “Ding-A-Ling” phenomenon.

Chuck Berry – “My Ding-A-Ling”

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Social Justice Warrior Flambes Genomes

Darwin duly notes that SJW’s tend not to be the ‘brightest candles on the cake’.  He points out that this genius was a ‘few clowns short of a circus’ when he decided throwing a flaming bottle of flammables was a good idea.   One could say the SJW’s ‘logs were ablaze but the chimney was clogged’. And furthermore, Darwin says noting the cracking sounds of genomes roasting, this Social Justice Warrior was definitely ‘a few burgers short of a barbecue’.

Darwin theorizes that most of these SJW Rocket Scientists are ‘all booster and no payload’.  He says most of them ‘couldn’t hit a target with an atomic bomb’ or much less ‘blow their noses even if brains were dynamite’.  As for the genome question itself, Darwin hypothesizes that this SJW shish kebab’s ‘brother was an only child’.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Hey Guys! Take The New ‘Firecracker Challege’

Darwin, while rolling on the floor laughing his ass off, says guys, really? You’re actually going to place explosives next to your ‘ownliest’ genome jewels and then explode them. The explosives, that is. And obviously your jewels too. You know the ones that are parked right next to the explosive. You know it’s not going to work out well, right? But the ‘clicks’ are worth it? OK, then. Whatever lights your fire. You will definitely not be polluting the old gene pool.  How do you spell eunuch? E U N U C H.  What’s that spell? Y O U.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Ruh-Roh Charlie Darwin – Your Newest Candidate Just ‘Beat Feet’

It appears that this candidate for one of Charlie Darwin’s Awards may have walked away before getting his award. Better luck delivering next time, Charlie.  And you know there will be a next time, because they just never learn.

**Tire tracks in – hole in the ice – footprints out. Ohhh yeahhh???

Daily Darwin – Girder Dolly Dump

Darwin in quick to point out that he definitely sympathizes with anyone that doesn’t want to risk their ‘ownliest’ genomes by passing logging trucks or Bridge Beam Haulers. Here’s one example where “to hesitate is not to lose.”

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Darwin’s Home Builder Brigade

Darwin points out that he has finally found out where members of his infamous ‘Ladder Brigade’ park their genomes for the night. His initial thought on learning, “Whoa, that first step is a real bitch”.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

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