/sarc ‘n /snark

DieAmericaDIE.org Parody

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Join the Woke Mob! Hilarious Infomercial Skit by Uncle Jimmy

Why is Uncle Jimmy telling us to D.I.E.? How can you help Make America Racist Again? What do George Soros, Joseph Rosenbaum and Colin Kaepernick all have in common? They’re all part of “Dr. Van Joan’s” pitch for you to pay only $6.66 to become part of the Alphabet Mafia. Check out the latest parody from the “Fearless” team! Jason Whitlock

**/sarc ‘n /snark

Biden Colonoscopy Reveals Polyp, A Tubular Obamanoma

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Biden had benign but potentially precancerous lesion removed during colonoscopy

CNN–The President’s physician, Dr. Kevin O’Connor, on Wednesday reported that testing on the polyp has revealed it to be a tubular adenoma, a benign, slow-growing lesion that is thought to be potentially precancerous.

The polyp, O’Connor said, is similar to one that Biden had removed in 2008, and he noted that no further action is required at this time. The physician said routine surveillance was recommended for the finding and that Biden would be due for his next colonoscopy in seven to 10 years.

The colonoscopy procedure, which required anesthesia, meant that Biden on Friday temporarily transferred power to Vice President Kamala Harris, who became the first woman to assume US presidential power for 85 minutes that morning.

Just A Fart In The Wind Or #PoopyPantsBiden

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First that incident with the Poop… err, the Pope, that inspired the #PoopyPantsBiden meme, and now Camilla ‘can’t stop talking about’ hearing the President ‘break wind’ during a chat at Cop26 climate summit in Glasgow. Insiders say, that the Duchess has even been in contact with the rock group Kansas, in hopes they might update their signature tune…

DailyMail–He is supposed to be committed to reducing emissions – but when President Joe Biden produced a little natural gas of his own at the COP26 summit, it was audible enough to make the Duchess of Cornwall blush.

An informed source has told The Mail on Sunday that Camilla was taken aback to hear Biden break wind as they made polite small talk at the global climate change gathering in Glasgow last week.

‘It was long and loud and impossible to ignore,’ the source said. ‘Camilla hasn’t stopped talking about it.’

Kansas – Dust in the Wind (Official Video)

**/sarc ‘n /snark

News Ripped From The Headlines Of “News Yet to Come”

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Female Weightlifter Suffers Tragic Testicle Injury Just Weeks Before Tokyo Olympics

The Babylon Bee–100% totally female weightlifter Laurel Hubbard was forced to bid farewell to her Olympic dreams yesterday after a tragic accident left her with a severely lacerated testicle. Hubbard would have been the first transgender woman to compete in the Olympics.

The injury is not life-threatening, but doctors have advised Hubbard that she needs to refrain from heavy lifting for at least six to eight weeks as her injury heals. Obviously, that means Olympic weightlifting is off the table.

**The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come (“News Yet to Come”) appropriately appropriated from Charles Dickens
**/sarc ‘n /snark

CNN Breaking News! Flat Earther Surfing Disaster

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FakeNews CNN’s Brian ‘Tater’ Stelter reports “Surfers on edge after 40 go missing…”

‘Tater’ is sure to “Get Peeled” for trying to resurrect his failing show with this cheesy (and we’re pretty sure it’s a FakeNews)story. Since Former President Donald Trump left the White House, CNN has lost almost 70% of its viewers.


**/sarc ‘n /snark

Meanwhile In Canada (by way of Cornwall) – “Mon Dieu! Benoit? Summon the Mounties.”

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Masculine Pronouns??  Justin says “Nyet! Vladie. There ain’t no stinking masculinity here…”

The Babylon Bee–World War 3 was nearly started after G7 attendees referred to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau using masculine pronouns, misgendering the progressive, inclusive, genderless leader.

“Excuse me — him?” an indignant Trudeau said after he overheard Putin referring to him using male pronouns. “How dare you! Did you just assume my gender? Wow. I mean, I thought this was the current year!”