Oregon Police Are Begging People to Stop Calling 911 If They Run Out of Toilet Paper
Darwin is truly hard at work during this “Great Coronavirus Hunkerdown”.
The Gateway Pundit – It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this. Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance,” Newport Oregon Police said in a Facebook post.
The police had some fun and offered residents alternatives to toilet paper if they were to run out.
“In fact, history offers many other options for you in your time of need if you cannot find a roll of your favorite soft, ultra plush two-ply citrus scented tissue,” the police said.
“Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in salt water. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in salt water. We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of salt water available. Sea shells were also used.”
You know that the aftermath of a FakeNews CNN Town Hall can be truly nasty and almost impossible to clean up behind (Huh?). But now, with the New RotoWipe your little problems get flushed right down the drain. No more dealing with nasty hangers-on, dingleberries, or having to do the dreaded TP Shuffle.
Whoops! That headline should have been “Trump’s New Executive TP Order.
**Being in The Media means “Never having to say you’re sorry“.