He ought to be ‘screaming’ for Security to help guard his precious hoard out to his car.
toilet paper
Post Toilet Paper Apocalypse Survivors
Gilligan’s Island Intro
Oregon Snowflakes Call 911 To Deliver Toilet Paper
Oregon Police Are Begging People to Stop Calling 911 If They Run Out of Toilet Paper
Darwin is truly hard at work during this “Great Coronavirus Hunkerdown”.
The Gateway Pundit – It’s hard to believe that we
even have to post this. Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance,” Newport Oregon Police said in a Facebook post.
The police had some fun and offered residents alternatives to toilet paper if they were to run out.“In fact, history offers many other options for you in your time of need if you cannot find a roll of your favorite soft, ultra plush two-ply citrus scented tissue,” the police said.
“Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in salt water. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in salt water. We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of salt water available. Sea shells were also used.”
Hey! Need Toilet Paper??
Ki-Ki-Ki. Ma-Ma-Ma. I’ve got all the Toilet Paper you’ll ever need….
“Ch ch ch, Ah ah ah. Or Ki ki ki, Ma ma ma.” So, which one is it? You decide…
Moma Don’t Take My Toilet Paper Away…
“I’ll give you my toilet paper when you pry it from my cold, dead hands,” said a Costco shopper.
New Product To Help Clean Up After FakeNews CNN Town Halls
You know that the aftermath of a FakeNews CNN Town Hall can be truly nasty and almost impossible to clean up behind (Huh?). But now, with the New RotoWipe your little problems get flushed right down the drain. No more dealing with nasty hangers-on, dingleberries, or having to do the dreaded TP Shuffle.
Meet a True Rescue Dog
Front and center, ready to do doody, sir!
Trump’s New TPP Executive Order
Whoops! That headline should have been “Trump’s New Executive TP Order.
**Being in The Media means “Never having to say you’re sorry“.