Alpha Centauri Rejects Paying For Trump’s Space Force

Reps from the sun’s closest stellar neighbors, the three stars in the Alpha Centauri system, said today that President Trump could “forgeddaboutit” any of the Centauriis ever paying for the US Space Force. The two main players, the binary pair, Alpha Centauri A and Alpha Centauri B noted that rep from Proxima Centauri, the closest star at 4.22 light years, is adamant that the only thing ‘they’ would consider paying for is Trump’s one-way trip to Uranus.

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