“We’re All Gonna Die”

Obligatory Warning: Kiddies, don’t try this at home. Challenge done by a Professional on a closed course.  Actress portrayal.  All research statistics are blatantly flagrant.  Always wear your seatbelt.  As seen on TV.  Choking hazard, this is a real plastic bag.  Discontinue use if rash develops.   Do not drive with bag stuck on head.  Do not use under coconut trees.  Do not use orally after using rectally.  EPA estimate only.  For entertainment purposes only.  Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.  Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail.  Many will enter, few will win.  Mental health prohibited.  Mrs. Clinton is a paid endorser.  Not affiliated with any Government agency.  Not to be used as a personal floatation device.  Penalty for early withdrawal.  Reproduction strictly prohibited.  Seek shelter, cover head.  Use with adequate ventilation.  Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.  And finally:

This disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper or unauthorized repair, incorrect line voltage, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB’s, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, sticks and stones, et al.)

thanks, Bob.