Islamic Protester Dies From Inhaling Fiery Flag Fumes

President Obama, in another outreach to Muslims everywhere, reported famed flag maker, Betsy Ross, to the US Environmental Protection Agency for allegedly producing a defective product.  The President said, “None of our Islamic brothers and sisters should ever have to perish from the scourge of fiery, flag fumes while engaging in their First Amendment rights no matter where in the world they might be.”

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Route Requires Insurance Surcharge

The British Geico Insurance Affiliate has begun requiring a 127% route surcharge for any customer stupid enough to use this  insanely designed “traffic control roundabout”.  The Gecko is strongly considering renouncing his citizenship as a show of solidarity with all of the unwitting victims of the Crown Highway Design Board.  He was heard saying, “Crikey,  these blokes is Medieval.”

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Bern Down the House

Come August 28, the “Bern” is taking a week off from politics. That’s when he’ll be at Nevada’s Black Rock City for the festival named in his honor, The Burning Man.  When asked about his plans, “The Bern” noted that after the Democratic Convention in July, it really won’t matter where he is, or what he does, so he might as well party like it’s 1968.

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