Cats

Your murder and disappearance.

The new theory being that if kitty murders you, you will not be able to put him in a box with poison, therefore he will be simultaneously alive while you, most regrettably, and most demonstrably,  are very dead.

Schrödinger’s Cat: a cat, a flask of poison, and a radioactive source are placed in a sealed box. … The Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics implies that after a while, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead. Yet, when one looks in the box, one sees the cat either alive or dead, not both alive and dead.