No Hansel, Just a Greta Fairytale

What if… Greta Thunberg woke up to a fossil-free world?

Climate Depot–One crisp winter morning in Sweden, a cute little girl named Greta woke up to a perfect world, one where there were no petroleum products ruining the earth. She tossed aside her cotton sheet and wool blanket and stepped out onto a dirt floor covered with willow bark that had been pulverized with rocks.

“What’s this?” she asked.“Pulverized willow bark,” replied her fairy godmother.

“What happened to the carpet?” she asked.

“The carpet was nylon, which is made from butadiene and hydrogen cyanide, both made from petroleum,” came the response.

Greta smiled, acknowledging that adjustments are necessary to save the planet, and moved to the sink to brush her teeth where instead of a toothbrush, she found a willow, mangled on one end to expose wood fibre bristles.

“Your old toothbrush?” noted her godmother, “Also nylon.”

“Where’s the water?” asked Greta.

“Down the road in the canal,” replied her godmother, ‘Just make sure you avoid water with cholera in it”

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Greta’s Gone Ginger

Mistakes Herself For The Myth

A legendary race believed to have descended from Prometheus himself, the bringer of fire. Some believe that the first Ginger was in fact the flame that Prometheus handed down to the human race that fateful day. Regardless, since that day, all Gingers have had the fire of Prometheus coursing through their veins, scorching their hair bright red, charring their skin into what are commonly mistaken for freckles when the fire strays too close to the surface.

But most importantly many gingers have a very short temper so it is a fairly good idea to not piss them off.

Found here.