1. Not the brightest light in the harbor.
2. The light’s on but no one’s home.
3. Not the brightest bulb in the box.

4. A few screws short of a hardware store.
5. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
6. A few cards short of a deck.
7. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
8. About as sharp as a marble.
9. Only has one oar in the water.
10. Smart as a bag of rocks.
11. A burger short of a combo meal.
12. The elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
13. A few peas short of a casserole.
14. A few keys short of a keyboard.
15. Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.
16. The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
17. As smart as a stick.
18. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
19. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
20. Has an IQ of room temperature.
21. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
22. Not the brightest crayon in the box.
23. One twist short of a slinky.
24. Sharp as a sack of wet mice.
25. More numb than a frozen mukluk.
26. Not the sharpest crayon in the box
27. Not the sharpest tool in the shed
28. They are depriving some village of its idiot.
29. A few threads short of a sweater.
30. A few sandwiches short of a picnic.
31. Driveway doesn’t quite reach the road.
32. The battery is not fully charged.
33. About as sharp as a bowling ball.
34. Dumber than a bag of hammers.
35. Two bricks short of a load.
36. A few clowns short of a circus.
37. A few beers short of a six-pack.
38. Dumber than a box of hair.
39. A few tacos short of a fiesta platter.
40. All foam no beer.
41. As smart as bait.
42. Chimney’s clogged.
43. Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash.
44. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
45. The antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.
46. His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.
47. Another brain would be lonely.
48. Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
49. No grain in the silo.
50. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

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