Daily Darwin – Darwin’s WTF Bicycle

Darwin shakes his head as he as he ponders the conundrum of “why anyone would build a two story bicycle” and then actually try to ride it.  “Look Ma, no training wheels.”  Heh.  Or “Look Ma, I’ve fallen and squashed my genomes, and I can’t get up!”

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Hot Dog Bandit Shoots Self In His Junk

Darwin says there is something about a hot dog stand robbery gone awry that warms the cockles of his heart.  See the Breitbart report, “Suspect Robs Chicago Hot Dog Stand, Accidentally Shoots Self in Penis“.  Ouch!!

Darwin, still wincing after visualizating the havoc a bullet would render upon ones ‘ownliest’ genomes, stated for the record, “That Home Boy really knows how to chlorinate a genome pool.”

“Shot in the Junk-O-Meter” courtesy of HeyJackass.com

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Genius Jousters

Darwin hilariously observes that the genomes of these genius jousters are most certainly larger than their inadequately sized brains.  Which, unfortunately for those self-same genomes, may no longer be true as it is a fact that one’s genomes never retain their original size after a confrontation with a high speed moving object.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Kickboxing Before Coffee

Darwin is never surprised by the number of genomes that end up being crushed by coffee deprived morning kickboxers. He again, restates the rules for a.m. kickboxing. Make sure you are fully awake and in charge of your senses. Have your coffee. By all means, go down stairs for your bout. And finally, make sure your target is something softer, more padded, and less breakable than your ownlinest bare, naked foot.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – High-Rise Whitewater Rafting Genome

Darwin notes that this high-rise whitewater rafter might think he’s keeping his genomes dry, but taking a plunge from a virtually uncontrollable 6 story raft is guaranteed to splash cold water on that plan.

Daily Darwin – Darwin’s Shovel Patrol

Darwin is quick to point out that when one intends a ‘practical joke’ to harm another one’s family genomes, quite often a reverse-reciprocating effect is experienced, provided great joy to all onlookers.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – The House That Darwin Built

Darwin reports that any fool with the cajones to make it to the third floor and back to ground zero, err…the ground floor successfully, will be awarded the ‘Golden Nuggets Award’ to memorialize their genomes as the most fortunate on the planet.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Guide to Manly Fuse Replacement

Darwin always sniffs the air for the aroma of fried genomes when he sees a hapless handyman go for a ‘redneck engineered’ fuse replacement.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated