Daily Darwin – Washington State Man Shoots Himself In Balls

Darwin chortles heartily about the dude that shot himself in the ol’ genomes who, by happenstance, was ‘very personally’ carrying  methamphetamine  and marijuana.  That fact, which just happened to slip his mind, until drumroll, please…. the ‘package’ coincidentally slipped out of his anus during surgery. The Wenatchee World reports this shit show, “Trouble snowballs for man who shot himself.”

A convicted felon accidentally shot himself in the genitals last month at an apartment in Cashmere. His problems didn’t stop there.

[Darwin’s red-headed stepchild, who shall remain nameless] had a pistol tucked into his front pocket April 5 when the gun discharged, sending a bullet through his testicles and into his thigh….

As doctors and nurses performed surgery at Central Washington Hospital, a balloon containing marijuana slipped out of his anus, the affidavit said.

Chelan County sheriff’s detectives were notified that Wilson had suffered a gunshot wound and then responded to the hospital. They searched the car and found a bag of methamphetamine inside a pair of blood-stained jeans he’d taken off before entering the hospital.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

**Should have been a “Florida Man” story.

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Daily Darwin – It’s Never Too Early To Plan Your Fourth Of July Show

Darwin notes that proper show planning usually excludes the part where one’s ‘ownliest’ genomes are bathed in fiery, sparking reactive metals (aluminum or magnesium) causing a burst of very bright light and intense heat – sometimes at temperatures over 5000° F!

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Genius Says “Nuts” To Trigger Disciple

Darwin is wont to point out that saying “nuts’ to good trigger discipline is most certainly like saying “hasta la vista, baby” to one’s ownliest and precious little genomes.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Skateur Flambé

Ah, yes.  Darwin says.  The old “Skaterboarder Flambé routine.   Darwin’s suggests that to avoid such and occurrence,  keeping one’s precious genomes warm is best accomplished by long johns and a woolly robe than by a ‘splash’ of gasoline and a spark.

Skateboard Flambé or, if you prefer, Skateur Flambé.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Skin’s Cheap Compared to Fiberglass

Darwin cackles gleefully as he points out that this motorcycle clown act probably did $10,000 damage to his bike, but, just like his IQ, this genius’ genomes and skin are pretty cheap.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Girder Dolly Dump

Darwin in quick to point out that he definitely sympathizes with anyone that doesn’t want to risk their ‘ownliest’ genomes by passing logging trucks or Bridge Beam Haulers. Here’s one example where “to hesitate is not to lose.”

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – The Naked Motocross Genome

Darwin does his best facepalm as he asks, “Why would anyone think that a ‘Naked Motocross’ event was any kind of good idea.  There’s nothing like 40 miles of sun, sand, sagebrush, snakes, insects, pot holes and friction to make the old genomes say “Nope”.  Hmmm??  Darwin posits.  Maybe that’s why the race is called an “Enduroid“.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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