The Babylon Bee

Creepy Joe Biden Has A Creepy New COVID-19 Mask

by

Biden Cuts Hole In Mask So He Can Still Sniff People’s Hair

The Babylon Bee–Joe Biden has committed to wearing a mask in public to be a good example and to prevent the spread of COVID-19. Aides were disappointed and a little frightened, however, when Biden immediately cut a large hole in the middle of the mask so he could continue to invade people’s personal space and sniff their hair, necks, and faces.

Staffers usually don’t let Biden play with sharp objects, but he managed to find some safety scissors stashed behind the Metamucil in his campaign bus. Using the purple plastic scissors, he cut a large hole and then fitted the mask to his face, confident that he was protecting himself and others from the virus.

The Babylon Bee takes /sarc ‘n /snark to a whole ‘nuther level.

‘White Privilege’ Is A Drink Best Served Cold

by

Starbucks Unveils New White Privilege Latte

The Babylon Bee—The coffee monolith Starbucks is introducing a brand new drink that promises to begin the hard work of ending racism in America. The new “White Privilege Latte” will cost $50 a cup and taste like pure hatred, bigotry, and regret. “This will be the most progressive drink on the market today,” said marketing director at Starbucks, Madeline Kohn.

Read more

The Babylon Bee Posts “AOC Free” Retraction

by

The Editors of The Babylon Bee admitted today that their article, “Ocasio-Cortez Appears On ‘The Price Is Right,’ Guesses Everything Is Free” may not have been entirely accurate an issued an apology for the confusion.  Readers give the story “Two Hehs Up”.

**/sarc ‘n /snark Alert.