The Babylon Bee

Gov. Newsom Says “Let The Pooping Begin Again In San Francisco.”

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San Francisco Cleaned Up For Xi Visit. Now, Things Are Back to Normal.

Even a caveman and the Babylon Bee knew it would be…

Red State–If there’s anything that indicates a politician or group of politicians isn’t taking something seriously, it’s when they apply a Band-Aid over a problem when it’s noticeable, and then let things go back to the way they were. That’s what happened in San Francisco when the city cleaned up their homeless encampments and open-air drug bazaars during the visit of the Chinese dictator Xi. Now, according to one San Francisco business owner, it’s once more business as usual in the city by the Bay.

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Do You Need One More Reason Not To Fly?

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Delta Airliners Add ‘Explosive Diarrhea‘ Warning Lights

Babylon Bee–Following a much-publicized incident this week in which a flight had to turn back due to a passenger suffering from intestinal issues that created a biohazard, Delta Airlines has announced that all planes will be outfitted with an “explosive diarrhea’ warning light.

“This quickly became our No. 2 priority,” said airline spokeswoman Charmin Brown. “After this week’s unfortunate experience, we decided that, much like seatbelts or no-smoking lights, it would be best to have a way to notify all of our passengers of explosive diarrhea. This way, everyone onboard will be made aware whenever it’s, you know, about to hit the fan.”

Passengers onboard diarrhea plane share ordeal: ‘It was dribbled down the aisle, smelled horrible’

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