California Dreamin’ – Venice Beach Homeless

All the leaves are brown (all the leaves are brown)
And the sky is gray (and the sky is gray)
I’ve been for a walk (I’ve been for a walk)
On a winter’s day (on a winter’s day)
I’d be safe and warm (I’d be safe and warm)
If I was in LA (if I was in LA)
California dreamin’ (California dreamin’)
On such a winter’s day

The Mamas & the Papas – “California Dreamin'”

 

You’re Gonna Need Your New California Conceal Carry License

It’s called the CCSC License (California Concealed Straw Carry), and you can bet your sippy-cup it will be tough bitch to get.

Near future Shithole – like This Afternoon

Normally it’s a crime to carry either a ‘full or an empty’ straw in public in California. It doesn’t matter whether you are carrying a concealed straw or one that is openly carried or displayed in a beverage.

Unless you have a CCSC (California Concealed Straw Carry) license, publicly carrying a straw in California is against the law… period.

But you may be issued a permit to carry “a straw, flexible or fixed, or other flexible sipping impliment capable of being concealed upon the person” if:

  • You are of good moral character;
  • Good cause exists for issuance of the license because you or a member of your family has an unquenchable thirst;
  • You meet certain residency requirements; and
  • You have completed an acceptable course of straw, and straw sipping techniques training.

And don’t forget your $Million $Dollar Humane Safe Straw Storage and Disposal Guarantee Bond. Don’t leave home without it.

**Thanks Anon in MT