Starbucks Commandeers Seattle Domestic Water Supply

Seattle’s third mayor this week is nowhere to be found.  Starbucks chairman, Howard Schultz, was overheard saying that, “If Seattle goes another week without a ‘real’ mayor, we’ll have Puget Sound totally converted to Pumpkin Spice and the salmon will just have to suck it up and deal…”

**FakeNewsAlert**

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