Sure Cure For Hillary’s Cough

Uncle Vlad recommends a shot of Old Crow, a little honey, and a dash of lemon to pair with the ‘certain’ piquancy of the brew.

Representative ‘Studs’ Swalwell

Democratic Representative Eric Swalwell appears to be fixated on the “studs” in the Trump Administration. I couldn’t quite figure out whether he was making a veiled reference to Stormy Daniels, or refurbishing the Oval Office for Trump’s second term. Now rumor does have it that Mr. Swalwell has spent some serious time personally investigating the Trump/Stormy connection. He brags that he’s logged at least 40 hours on Ms. Daniels rather ‘ample’ website.


**Disclaimer–Just kidding, Mr. Swalwell. We won’t know for sure that you’ve been using your Government computer to log onto porn sites until we finish the investigation. Oh, and as far as using your Congressional Expense Account to pay for your PornHub subscription….? I’m sure you have a perfectly logical explanation.


Tide Pod ‘Secret Snacker’

Jimmy’s hurrying to stock up on his favorite Tide Pod snackies before the age restriction and ID check goes into effect.  When asked what his plans were for staying stocked with the tasty little treats ‘post-ban’, Jimmy said, “I know the addresses of all the Procter & Gamble employees within 100 miles of here.  I’ll just kidnap some family members and ….well, you can figure out the rest of the plan.”


Teddy’s Last Dinosaur Hunt

Teddy Roosevelt bags the last known Triceratops during a Bighorn sheep hunt in Montana.  The future president was quoted as saying, “I’m going to need to get a bigger wall for that bad boy.”

Teddy Roosevelt Bags Last Remaining Triceratops – Montana ’02


Procter & Gamble’s New Line of “Tide Snacks” – Easter Candy Shortage Update

Capitalizing on the unexpected success of “Tide Pods”, P&G just released these new and possibly tasty additions. Update – The demand for Tide Pods “Peeps” Easter Candy has been so exuberant that shelves are already emptied.  Disappointed shoppers were heard to say that “these Pod Peeps went faster than a $99 dollar 60 Inch Big Screen TV at Walmart on Black Friday”.

Procter & Gamble’s New Line of “Tide Snacks”

Capitalizing on the unexpected success of “Tide Pods”, P&G just released these new and possibly tasty additions.


New Tide Juice Box

With the success of Tide Pod snacks, it was inevitable that Procter & Gamble would add a line of beverages to help wash those little snacks down.


Raytheon Begins Testing New MK 48 Mod 30XXL Series Weapon

One perfected, Raytheon claims that not even the newest Littoral Combat Ships (LCS) will be able to stand the pounding this weapon system will deliver.