Things “Michelle” Avenatti could have said but was beaten to the punchline by Rodney Dangerfield.
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.