It was so hot, a robin dipped his worm in Nestea.
It was so hot that Burger King was singing, “If you want it your way, cook it yourself!”
It’s so hot that even the sun is looking for some shade.
It’s so hot the thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?!”
It’s so hot the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry clothes at the same time.
It’s so cold…
Gangbangers doing drivebys by text messaging!!
It’s so cold…
I saw a snowman with a hoodie on!!
Johnny Carson’s Carnac, the Magnificent – Sis, Boom, Bah
https://youtu.be/L4GduUWv-mA
The Oregonian–Portland hit 116 degrees Monday afternoon, setting a new record high temperature for the third day in a row, according to the National Weather Service.
The high temperature at Portland International Airport had reached 116 degrees just after 5 p.m., surpassing the high of 114 that forecasters had predicted.
Monday’s record-setting temperatures broke Sunday’s record-setting high of 112 degrees. Sunday’s high had broken the 108 degree-record set Saturday, which broke the previous high of 107, first set in 1965.
Carnac the Magnificent says, “Unicorns, Flying Saucers, and Bigfoot.”
It’s SO COLD, Ed, that Elizabeth Warren is pretending to be an Eskimo. Just don’t tell her about that yellow snow thing….
FRANK ZAPPA — DON’T EAT THE YELLOW SNOW AND NANOOK RUBS IT
*It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.
*Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.
*It’s so cold I had to break the smoke off my chimney.
*It’s so cold my balls have become ovaries!
*It’s so cold Dunkin’ Donuts is serving coffee on a stick.
*It’s so cold I had to chisel my dog off a fire hydrant.
