Daily Darwin – Darwin’s Shovel Patrol

Darwin is quick to point out that when one intends a ‘practical joke’ to harm another one’s family genomes, quite often a reverse-reciprocating effect is experienced, provided great joy to all onlookers.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – The House That Darwin Built

Darwin reports that any fool with the cajones to make it to the third floor and back to ground zero, err…the ground floor successfully, will be awarded the ‘Golden Nuggets Award’ to memorialize their genomes as the most fortunate on the planet.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Vying For ‘Numbnut’ of the Year Award

Darwin points out that although the little balloon retriever’s genomes could be somewhat at risk, it’s Dad’s still immature genomes that are truly in harm’s way. Darwin guarantees, with utmost certainty, that as soon as Mom gets home and sees the Facebook video Dad posted about his day with Jr., Dad’s genomes will be residing in the back of his throat. Ack!! Urp!! Gluck!!

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Human ‘Hindenberg Disaster’

Darwin winces as he points out that genomes, ‘gas bags’, and an ignition source do not make for good companions.  Oh, the humanity….

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Playing Genome Fetch

Darwin in quick to point out that when one is training one’s dog to fetch balls, one should clearly distinguish the difference between genomes and balls, emphasizing that genomes are neither to be fetched or chewed upon.  “Goo boy, Nigel…”

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Daily Darwin – Toasted Nuts Special

Darwin scratches his head and wonders how this whole vaping thing exploded (heh) onto the scene.  He points out that ‘fruity flavors’ and aromas only go so far because the minute the vapee smells that “Toasted Nuts and Curly Hairs” Special emanated from his onliest drawers he’s gonna be so done with the vapors.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Here’s your Lynyrd Skynyrd bonus – “That Smell”

Daily Darwin – Never Mix a Skateboard With a Bicycle

Darwin is always quick to point out that both skateboards and bicycles are hard on the old genomes, but when you mix the two an unfortunate ‘genomic dislocation’ is sure to occur.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Advice to Coffee Drinkers

Darwin’s not sure whether this advice is for ‘coffee drinkers’ or for ‘ski jumpers’.  He thinks it probably cuts the old genome both ways.  Darwin recommends that one’s genomes will be most happy if one has his morning coffee prior to ski jumping.  This finishing the morning coffee, though, still has him perplexed.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated