Daily Darwin – Social Justice Warrior Flambes Genomes

Darwin duly notes that SJW’s tend not to be the ‘brightest candles on the cake’.  He points out that this genius was a ‘few clowns short of a circus’ when he decided throwing a flaming bottle of flammables was a good idea.   One could say the SJW’s ‘logs were ablaze but the chimney was clogged’. And furthermore, Darwin says noting the cracking sounds of genomes roasting, this Social Justice Warrior was definitely ‘a few burgers short of a barbecue’.

Darwin theorizes that most of these SJW Rocket Scientists are ‘all booster and no payload’.  He says most of them ‘couldn’t hit a target with an atomic bomb’ or much less ‘blow their noses even if brains were dynamite’.  As for the genome question itself, Darwin hypothesizes that this SJW shish kebab’s ‘brother was an only child’.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

   
   

Daily Darwin – Kickboxing Before Coffee

Darwin is never surprised by the number of genomes that end up being crushed by coffee deprived morning kickboxers. He again, restates the rules for a.m. kickboxing. Make sure you are fully awake and in charge of your senses. Have your coffee. By all means, go down stairs for your bout. And finally, make sure your target is something softer, more padded, and less breakable than your ownlinest bare, naked foot.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

   
   

Daily Darwin – The House That Darwin Built

Darwin reports that any fool with the cajones to make it to the third floor and back to ground zero, err…the ground floor successfully, will be awarded the ‘Golden Nuggets Award’ to memorialize their genomes as the most fortunate on the planet.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

   
   

Daily Darwin – Guide to Manly Fuse Replacement

Darwin always sniffs the air for the aroma of fried genomes when he sees a hapless handyman go for a ‘redneck engineered’ fuse replacement.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

   
   

Daily Darwin – Vying For ‘Numbnut’ of the Year Award

Darwin points out that although the little balloon retriever’s genomes could be somewhat at risk, it’s Dad’s still immature genomes that are truly in harm’s way. Darwin guarantees, with utmost certainty, that as soon as Mom gets home and sees the Facebook video Dad posted about his day with Jr., Dad’s genomes will be residing in the back of his throat. Ack!! Urp!! Gluck!!

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

   
   

Daily Darwin – Human ‘Hindenberg Disaster’

Darwin winces as he points out that genomes, ‘gas bags’, and an ignition source do not make for good companions.  Oh, the humanity….

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated