Darwin chortles as he warns about that old genome catapult truck trick.
Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors
Darwin Awards
Daily Darwin – Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Brakes Genome
Darwin posits that the ‘art of the brake’ requires minimal higher order genomic aptitude, but failure to meet that minimalist standard frequently results in a very high order of genome toasting.
Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors
Daily Darwin – How To Launch a Human Nutsack
Darwin rolls on the floor laughing his ass off as he sagely observes that if one has so little respect for his ‘onliest’ genomes as to allow a pickup truck (a big pickup truck, at that) to kick him in his very own nutsack (err…personal genome protection device) he really, really deserves to have those rather dim-witted genomes to be cleansed from humanity’s ‘ownliest’ gene pool.
Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors
Daily Darwin – Darwin’s Grinder Boys
Darwin notes with utmost glee that exposing one’s ‘onliest’ genomes to showers of molten metal sparks probably insures that one’s own personal contribution to the gene pool will indeed be cleansed.
Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors
Daily Darwin – Darwin’s Terrazzo Squad
Darwin loves to point out that it doesn’t take a genius to finish concrete, but if one wants to keep one’s ‘onliest’ genomes intact don’t, what ever you do, don’t, let go of the machine.
Daily Darwin – Darwin’s Weatherman
Darwin is wont to point out to any would be Meteorologists doing live standup ‘remote weather broadcasts‘ is that one must always protect one’s ‘onliest’ genomes at all times. Here’s an example of how not to protect the old genomes from snow. And snow plows. Heh. Darwin says he never gets tired of watching stupidity cleansed from the gene pool.
Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors
Daily Darwin – Genius Jousters
Darwin hilariously observes that the genomes of these genius jousters are most certainly larger than their inadequately sized brains. Which, unfortunately for those self-same genomes, may no longer be true as it is a fact that one’s genomes never retain their original size after a confrontation with a high speed moving object.
Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors
Daily Darwin – Kickboxing Before Coffee
Darwin is never surprised by the number of genomes that end up being crushed by coffee deprived morning kickboxers. He again, restates the rules for a.m. kickboxing. Make sure you are fully awake and in charge of your senses. Have your coffee. By all means, go down stairs for your bout. And finally, make sure your target is something softer, more padded, and less breakable than your ownlinest bare, naked foot.
Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors
Daily Darwin – High-Rise Whitewater Rafting Genome
Darwin notes that this high-rise whitewater rafter might think he’s keeping his genomes dry, but taking a plunge from a virtually uncontrollable 6 story raft is guaranteed to splash cold water on that plan.
