Daily Darwin – Light My Fire

Darwin says that you just can’t make this crap up!  This is one thief that cooked his own goose, err, genome.

The FresnoBee reports, “Suspected burglar stuck in Huron home’s chimney dies after residents light fire.”

A man who apparently got stuck in the chimney of a Huron home during a Darwin_Santa_Oopsey_Daisybotched burglary attempt died Saturday after the homeowners lit a fire in the fireplace, the Fresno County Sheriff’s Office said.Lt. Brandon Pursell said deputies received a 911 call to the 16000 block of West Gale Avenue just before 3 p.m. After lighting a fire, the male homeowner heard screaming coming from somewhere inside the house. When the resident realized a person was in the chimney, he extinguished the fire.

Darwin also notes that this smoked dude’s balls and brain in all probability can’t be distinguished from your average chimps pieces and parts.

Deputies and firefighters had to smash the chimney to get the man out. He was

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Which hand has the intelligence?

pronounced dead at the scene. The Fresno County coroner will perform an autopsy to confirm a cause of death. The man’s identity is being withheld pending notification of his family.

Investigators believe he had attempted to break into the home sometime during the evening hours of Nov. 27. He had remained in the chimney all day.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

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Grumpy cat offers his observation, too.

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Daily Darwin – Collecting Nuts

Darwin reminds us that all of God’s creatures have their place. The golfer’s job is to pee in the rough. The squirrels job is to collect nuts. You make the genome connection.

Squirrel_Attack_Exposed_Nuts

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Machine Gun Monkey

Darwin says that if you give a Chimpanzee an AK-47, loaded no less, you can expect your genome to get it’s balls blown off.  Just sayin’.

Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Honing the Family Jewels

Darwin says that there is nothing like a 30 yard long flying face plant and body slide to hone the rough edges off of the ol’ family gonads.

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Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Jihadi Jam

Darwin says that sometimes the sky does fall.  It’s guaranteed this Jihad i’s genome is now jam.  Hey Abdullah, watch out for that mortar shell….

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Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated

Daily Darwin – Darwin’s Cat

Think your cat is plotting to kill you? Scientists say you could be right“, asks The Mirror.

New research claims that despite looking cute and harmless, the sparkle in your beloved cat’s eyes might is probably their killer instinct.

Cat_Darwins_Cat_animatedResearchers from the University of Edinburgh looked at the character traits of domestic pet cats and compared how similar their behaviour is to wildcats and big cats such as lions.

The study found that the different breeds had the same strong characteristics related to dominance, impulsiveness and neuroticism.

Compared with the snow leopard, the Scottish wildcat and the African lion, researchers found larger predators shared similar characteristics of aggression and neurotic behaviour to domestic cats.

Darwin notes that the little furry fucks will gladly sacrifice one of their nine lives to get you.

 

Daily Darwin – Tastes Like Stupid

Darwin notes that anytime someone tries to get another someone to try a new food for the first time, they always claim that “it tastes just like chicken.”

Well Darwin has a new taste comparison, “It tastes just like stupid.”

Finger lickin’ good.

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Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors

Despicable_Minions_300x136_animated