rainman

MAGA Lion Attack Thwarted By Colorado Hiker

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Just kidding. I was trying out the newest headline writing style practiced by the Mainstream Media, called “Smolletting”. Here’s the real story brought to you by the ‘real’ CNN.

From CNN, “Runner who suffocated mountain lion with his foot describes the attack.”

When Travis Kauffman went for a run near Fort Collins, Colorado, little did he know his workout would include suffocating a mountain lion.

“I feel like I should go buy a bunch of lottery tickets,” he said.

On Thursday, authorities identified Kauffman as the runner who won a fight-to-the-death struggle last week after the cat ambushed him along the trail.

Keith Richards RIP Update – No More ‘Monkee-ing’ Around For Peter

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Sadly it’s time for another Keith Richards RIP Update. Keith’s still here but there’ll be no more ‘monkee-ing’ around for Peter Tork.  ‘I’m a Believer‘ that he’s taken his ‘Last Train to Clarkesville‘.  It will be ‘Pleasant Valley Sundays‘ from now on for Peter Tork. RIP.

The Monkees – “Opening Theme”

Jussie Smollett – Don’t Pay For Your Hoax By Check – update

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Jesse Smollett failed Rule 1 of Hate Hoax Perpetration – “Don’t write a check to your co-conspirator’s for services rendered.” 

The Chicago Tribune writes, “How a text from Jussie Smollett set in motion an alleged hoax that dragged ‘Chicago’s reputation through the mud’”

Days before Jussie Smollett told police he was the victim of a vicious racist and homophobic attack, the “Empire” star sent a cautious text to a friend, Cook County prosecutors say.

“Might need your help on the low,” he messaged Abimbola “Abel” Osundairo, Smollett’s co-worker and alleged sometime ecstasy dealer. “You around to meet up and talk face to face?”

Smollett gave them a $100 bill to buy rope, ski masks, gloves and red baseball caps that would look like the “Make America Great Again” hat sported by Trump, Lanier said.

Two days later, she said, Smollett gave Abel a backdated personal check for $3,500.

Update: “America, let me just tell you something: Do not commit crimes with checks. If you’re going to break the law, do not write a check … get cash man,” Barkley told his TNT audience Thursday night as he tried his hardest to fight back laughs.  The Daily Caller.

Charles Barkley is hilarious here as he schools Jussie Smollett.

https://youtu.be/MDi7oLAFtXs

**FB didn’t like original post and pulled it. Let’s see how this update fares.