And Avis tries harder, because he’s number 2.
Chiraq
Chiraq – ChiPhone
Apple is still working to perfect production techniques for their new ChiPhone. Their usual 6 day 
Inventory Turnover ratio has been slowed considerably by an uptick in Workers Compensation issues occurring with the Product Development Team. Consequently, Team Leaders are considering a temporary halt in Field Testing.
A senior member of the Team was heard to say that it’s “imperative to bring the Project back into the lab to further refine testing protocols because the mayhem factor is still not under control.”
Here’s a summary of their analysis provided by HeyJackass.com.
Movies For the Hood
A new Media Company startup is now providing entertainment (of all kinds) for the folks in the neighborhood.
Chiraq – You Can Spend a Lifetime Here
From HeyJackass.com we’ve got the up to the minute stats for those that decided to stay forever in windy old Chiraq.
Chiraq – One Bullet Short…
This Thug is “one bullet short of a full magazine”.
Chiraq – Murdered the First Quarter
From the ChicagoTribune, “Chicago off to deadliest start in nearly two decades“.
As the first quarter of 2016 nears an end, violence in Chicago has reached levels unseen in years, putting the city on course to top 500 homicides for only the second time since 2008.
As of 6 a.m. Wednesday, homicides totaled 135, a 71 percent jump over the 79 killings in the same year-earlier period, official Police Department statistics show. That represented the worst first quarter of a year since 136 homicides in 1999, according to the data.
Shootings have jumped by comparable numbers as well. As of Wednesday, at
least 727 people had been shot in Chicago so far this year, a 73 percent rise from 422 a year earlier, according to a Tribune analysis of department data.
Worse yet, that jump follows two consecutive years in which shootings rose by double digits, the analysis found. Homicides also rose by about 12.5 percent last year over 2014.
Chiraq – Bullet Cams
From the Onion, “Chicago Police Department To Monitor All Interactions With Public Using New Bullet Cams“.
CHICAGO—In response to calls for increased transparency and accountability, the Chicago Police Department announced Friday that it will begin monitoring
all interactions with the public by using new bullet cams. “To ensure that all contact between law enforcement officers and residents is properly documented, five megapixel, high-definition cameras will be affixed to our standard-grade 9mm Luger caliber ammunition,” said Chicago Police Department Interim Superintendent John Escalante, adding that the bullet cams will capture the majority of public interactions and store them in a database.
