/sarc ‘n /snark

CNN’s Mount Rushmore Trigger Warning

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Footage Of Trump’s Patriotic Event At Mount Rushmore is Vewy, Vewy Scawey.  Head To Your Safe Space, Snowflakes.

Babylon Bee—In a move to make sure its primary audience of dumb snowflake triggered sissy libs wasn’t scarred for life, CNN graciously broadcast a trigger warning ahead of its report on Trump’s “dangerously patriotic” speech in front of Mount Rushmore last week.

The message warned CNN’s dozens of viewers that they would soon see horrifying carvings of long-dead racist presidents, President Trump saying some words, and also some disturbing American flags. CNN anchors then encouraged viewers with any liberal relatives in the room to turn away for a few minutes so as not to melt instantly into a puddle of liberal tears.

/sarc ‘n /snark

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‘The Food Supply Is Broken’

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Producers warn America is facing a ‘traditional protein’ shortage in Coronavirus era and that alternative sources may need to be used.

Breitbart–Toilet paper was the first product to disappear from retailers’ shelves at the start of the coronavirus outbreak in the United States, but the nation’s meat and poultry producers warn the strain on the supply chain could result in shortages and cost increases.

“The food supply chain is breaking,” John Tyson, chairman of Tyson Foods Inc., the largest U.S. meat producer, wrote in a blog posted on the company’s website:

This means one thing – the food supply chain is vulnerable. As pork, beef and chicken plants are being forced to close, even for short periods of time, millions of pounds of meat will disappear from the supply chain.

**/sarc ‘n /snark

CNN Blames Trump For Coronavirus Death

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CNN’s Jim Acosta reports, “It’s obvious to anyone that doesn’t wear a Red MAGA Hat, that if Trump hadn’t colluded with the Russians to cheat Hillary Clinton out of her inheritance and get elected President, his tweets wouldn’t have goaded the steamroller into attacking it’s operator and, thus, giving him a fatal case of Chinese Wuhan Coronavirus–one that couldn’t be cured by that fish tank cleaner, hydroxy…something or other, drug that Trump has been pushing… the very same one that he’s making money off of.”

**/sarc ‘n /snark