pantsuit on fire

Trademarking “I Can’t Recall”

by

Always looking to make a buck, Hillary’s not going to answer any questions until her trademark on the phrase “I can’t recall” is approved.  Then she’ll not only be able to avoid answering any questions, but she can collect royalties when ever her trademarked phrase is used or infringed upon by others.

Hillary_Dead_Broke_Billboard

Bear Spray Douche

by

Don’t be the guy that tried using bear spray to  relieve his jock itch.  Hmmm.  There might be a little more to the story, so make sure you read the “Daily Caller Pro Tip: If Your Junk Is Covered In Bear Spray, Maybe Get Naked And Scrub With Milk“.

A man in small-town Canada stripped down to his birthday suit at a gas station late last month and began drenching his man parts with milk — apparently because he Smokey_Bear_Naked_Fire_Dangerhad somehow managed to squirt some bear spray down his pants.

The unidentified man was completely naked when police arrived on the scene, according to CTV News, a Canadian television station.

“He was in excruciating pain and vigorously using his shirt to scrub his genitals with homogenized milk in an attempt to relieve the pain,” Royal Canadian Mounted Police spokesman Don Wrigglesworth told CTV.

 

Make America Brazil Again

by

God forbid Hillary Clinton is elected President, but I can see the Loyal Opposition’s headlines, “Make America Brazil Again”, or as the Washington Post reports, “Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff ousted in impeachment vote“.

BRASILIA — Brazil’s Senate ousted Dilma Rousseff as president Wednesday, voting overwhelmingly to impeach the leftist leader in the culmination of a protracted process that has divided the country.

Hillary_NixonThe vote to impeach Rousseff was 61 to 20. Two-thirds of senators — 54 out of 81 — were needed for impeachment to pass.

Senators broke into cheering and applause after the electronic voting was announced and sang the national anthem, concluding a process that was given the go-ahead in December.