I love the smell of ‘gunpowder‘ perfume in the morning. It’s my Pumpkin Spice Latte.”
rainman
Maxine Waters Face-prints Sheets
The New York Times reports, “Maxine Waters’ Image Found On ‘Shroud’ at Motel 6.” Or maybe, not so much. It was actually sheets that the image was found on, and, upon further inspection, it appears that Ms. Waters’ excessive makeup simply ‘silk-screened’ itself onto the sheet after an overnight of face sleeping. Experts say that proper personal hygiene could help prevent such transfers in the future.
**FakeNewsAlert**
Bill Clinton On ‘Taking a Knee’
“It’s the patriotic thing to do Monica…”
Zuckerpocalypse – 2024
2020 or 2024, same difference. Will Big ZuckerBrother get to rule Oceania? Does it mean something that ZuckerBrother was born in 1984? He does have that “Big ZuckerBrother is Watching You” part down pat, for sure.
New NFL ‘Player Designed’ Helmet
In keeping with the spirit of “Letting the inmates run the asylum”, the leadership of the NFL has approved the new “player designed” headgear. Kumbaya, Bro….
A groundskeeper was heard saying about the new headgear, “Pussies to the left of me, pussies to the right. Pussies upstairs in the Broadcast booth, pussies in the Owner’s box and pussies in the Commissioners Office. There’s so many pussies in the NFL now that I’m catching a case of the cramps.”
You Can Call Me Stilts, But Don’t Call Me Johnson
“You can call me Stilts, or you can call me Wilt, or you can call me Legs or you can call me Pegs, or you can call me WiltStilts, or you can call me PegLegs, or you can call me WS, or you can call me PL …but ya doesn’t hafta call me Johnson.”
Bamm Bamm – The Baby Bottle Robot
Bet you can’t guess why this little robot baby bottler is named ‘Bamm Bamm‘?
