ScienceFaire

Apple Announces iPhone X Accessories

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Not only will your iPhone X turn your face into a ‘poop emoji’, which is Apple’s way of telling you that you paid way, way too much for that phone, but you can also take care of all of your kitchen tasks with this new accessory.

**FakeNews Alert

Hurricane ‘Irma’ Advice For Floridians

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From the Miami Herald, “Irma becomes strongest Atlantic hurricane outside Gulf and Caribbean ever recorded“.

Irma spun into a monster storm Tuesday morning with sustained winds topping 180 mph, becoming the strongest Atlantic hurricane ever recorded outside the Gulf of Mexico and Caribbean, National Hurricane Center forecasters said in their 11 a.m. advisory.

Do to the bigly strength of the winds, the Weather Service offers this additional warning.

**Almost FakeNews Alert

Hair Of The Dog That Bit You

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MD 20/20 “Bling Bling” Blue, satisfying ‘dogs’ from the bottom shelf for longer than you can remember.

MD 20/20 Bum Wine Review –

As majestic as the cascading waters of a drain pipe, MD 20/20 is bottled by the 20/20 wine company in Westfield, New York. This is a good place to start for the street wine rookie, but beware; this dog has a bite to back up its bark. MD Stands for Mogen David, and is affectionately called “Mad Dog 20/20”. You’ll find this beverage as often in a bum’s nest as in the rock quarry where the high school kids sneak off to drink. This beverage is likely the most consumed by non-bums, but that doesn’t stop any bums from drinking it! Our research indicates that MD 20/20 is the best of the bum wines at making you feel warm inside. Some test subjects report a slight numbing agent in MD 20/20, similar to the banana paste that the dentist puts in your mouth before injecting it with novocain. Anyone that can afford a dentist should steer clear of this disaster. Avaliable in various nauseating tropical flavors that coat your whole system like bathtub scum, but only the full “Red Grape Wine” flavor packs the 18% whallop.