Rover’s got himself stuck in a Ovis Aries quagmire, for sure. Could that be called “stuck between a rock and hind place?” Bada Boom!
Here’s the Bada Boom! in case you didn’t open it. A triple facepalm by the Three Stooges is just too good to waste.
“That’s Gotta Hurt”
Priority Emergency Domestic Advice For Men
When your significant other issues the GTFOH!! proclamation your first move should be to grab the beer by the refrigerator.
The Execs – “GTFOH (Get The Fuck Outta Here)”
Mom’s ‘Special’ Recipe Cure
When your kid says, “Mom, my throat’s sore. I can’t possibly go to school,” and you’re pretty sure the little bastard is just trying to ditch school, whip up a fresh batch of “Mom’s ‘Special’ Recipe Big Pharma Grade” penicillin. Guaranteed sure cure.
Hillary – Almost the First
The painting, by Malika Favre, is called “The First.” This Washington Post’s report will bring a smile to your face:
It’s the “what if” cover — the image that the New Yorker planned to run if Hillary Clinton had won the 2016 election. … This week, the magazine decided to go
public with the illustration….
***
The image, by French artist Malika Favre, is titled “The First,” and depicts a historic President Hillary Clinton gazing at the moonlight from the would-be viewpoint of the Oval Office. …“That image brings everything back to me in a flash,” New Yorker art editor Françoise Mouly said. “The night of the election, I was at the office late, hard at work with final retouching on [Favre’s] image. I was focused on the technical details, getting the face just right, and on the layout.”
“I was trying not to tune in the results coming in. I had not prepared anything else,” continues Mouly, who launched a cartoon newspaper called Resist in response to President Donald Trump’s victory. “Eventually the sense of dread that crept among the few colleagues still in the office eventually overwhelmed me, and I left.”
Suck it up Buttercup. Here’s a few more Hillary “Firsts” for you to #Whine about.
Daily Darwin – Guide to Manly Fuse Replacement
Darwin always sniffs the air for the aroma of fried genomes when he sees a hapless handyman go for a ‘redneck engineered’ fuse replacement.
Natural selection deems that some individuals serve as a warning to others. Who are we to disagree? The next generation, ever and anon, is descended from the survivors
#SJW’s – The Statues Say, “Batter Up”
Meet ‘Old Hickory‘ Snowflake.
Hillary Copes – Alternate Nostril Breathing For Her Alternate Reality
This ‘howler‘ was reported in the Washington Examiner, “Hillary Clinton demonstrates ‘alternate nostril breathing’ during CNN interview“.
Failed Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton demonstrated on Wednesday one of the ways she dealt with her shocking loss to President Trump in
the aftermath of the 2016 election while promoting her new campaign memoir.
“Seems like you’ve been doing a lot of yoga?” CNN’s Anderson Cooper asked during an interview organized as part of Clinton’s What Happened book tour.
“Yes, I have,” Clinton responded. “And alternate nostril breathing.”
Here are a few examples of why Hillary’s life now consists solely of making excuses and alternate nostril breathing. Look.
And if just the thought of Hillary’s ‘alternate nostril breathing’ wasn’t enough to gag you out, Anderson Cooper says, “Gee, Hillary! Can we see? Please? Can we…..?”
Cooper then asked Clinton to show him what the coping mechanism entailed.
“I would highly recommend it,” Clinton started. “You are supposed to shut your eyes
— I don’t want to shut my eyes on national television — but you do hold [your nostril] and breathe through one, and you hold it and then you exhale to the other and you keep going.”
Hurricane Irma ‘Sign Language’ Interpreter Throws Sign Bombs
Florida Governor Rick Scott’s sign language interpreter did everything but “bend over and kiss his ass goodbye” to prove the point that Hurricane Irma was gonna be a bad one. From the Gateway Pundit,
Just watching this guy wears me out, but I think everyone gets the point. Now Governor Scott’s performance–pretty buttoned-down. But memorable? Maybe not so much…